|view of impending doom from my mom's balcony|
Those of you who know me well know that I adore all things alien and/or apocalyptical - movies, books, conversations, but especially Actual Real-Life Apocalypses.
Plus my mom lives right on the lake, so I had a front row seat to what I was hoping would be the spectacle to end all spectacles.
The next village over from my mom's is a place called San Marcos. It is overrun by a serious contingent of new age types who for years have been busily sleeping under pyramids, consuming a rainbow of psychedelics, drinking stinky herbal tea, channelling, crystal-gazing, proselytizing on various esoteric subjects, and waiting for the mother ship to arrive.
Oh, the excitement!
The sheer entertainment value!
So with all this super-hoo-hoo-hippie-hype, plus my own intrinsic love of the odd and unlikely, I was really hoping that the much-rumored Crystal Alien Spaceship would rise up from depths of the Sacred Lake and invite me on board.
Wouldn't that be something.
And, not wanting to deprive my own tribe of the possibility of interstellar travel, I had magnanimously offered to swing by in said spaceship to pick up my friends in Austin for the great exodus.
Now THAT's what I would call a proper apocalypse.
But, alas, the universe had other plans.
- The wind blew really really hard.
- A bunch of people (including yours truly) threw a bunch of candles into a big fire while chanting in Quiche Maya and other, less obscure, tongues.
- Most yoga classes were cancelled due to the end of the world.
- There was plenty of restaurant seating because the bulk of the gringo population were in the wilderness doing ceremony.
- A volcano erupted (which is not nearly as dramatic as it sounds, since Lake Atitlan (and most of Guatemala, for that matter) is ringed by volcanoes).
Some of my friends came outside and waited for me at the appointed time, then went about their business when I didn't show.
I was in bed asleep by 10:30.
Stupid Lame Apocalypse.
So now we are in day 39 of the new cycle. In another 5000 or so years, the end will again be nigh.
And next time, there had better be a damn spaceship.