Sunday, September 26, 2010

OuT of the WiLdeRnESs!

...and directly into a seriously freak-infested portion of the grid (which some euphemistically refer to as "reno").

Since my last post and subsequent descent into zen-monky-business, a gazillion things have happened. Not being sequentially-minded at the moment, here is a bunch of crap in no particular order:

1) the ocean ate my car keys (and did NOT spit them back up). This, of course, led to a whole expensive and time-consuming series of events involving locksmiths, tow trucks, a park ranger named Tina, a seedy motel, a Honda dealership, a cheeseball, half a Woody Allen movie and a beautiful sunset.

2) aside from the above incident, I spent five days in Big Sur, sleeping in a turnout overlooking the sea (which I soon discovered I was sharing with a dead guy - but really dead and ashy with a plaque and stuff, not all maggoty and decomposing - that would be weird). I woke up every morning to the crashing waves and the sun pushing it's way up through the fog, went down the road and had really good coffee and pastry at Big Sur Bakery. That bakery totally kicks ass and you should go there if you're in the neighborhood.

3) i got married.

4) ha ha - just kidding. That was last trip, silly!
(although, interestingly enough, that accidental nuptial did end up factoring in to my experience at Tassajara... my innards hadn't flinched that much in quite some time)


I'm off to sleep now in my comfy Reno bed at my fabulous Aunt Sweetie's house, and am reasonably sure that no one is going to run by my head ringing a wake-up bell at five in the morning...damn, that sure does suck sometimes!

more later,

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Truck Stops, Boob Jobs, Hot Dogs and Pee

Hello Friends!

When last we spoke, I was chicken sitting and counting the days until blastoff.

Finally, after much preparation and a satisfying series of goodbyes, I am on the road and well on my way to destination fact, at this very moment I am sitting in a coffee shop in Lompoc, California.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that it's a Starbucks, but cut me some slack here, people...I have no idea where I am (yet).

Lompoc is Here
 I left Austin on Monday, drove 16 hours straight, and then discovered the wonders of a little thing called Rest Stops. Did you know that you can park at a rest stop and actually stay there as long as you like and sleep?
True story.

And it looks like this...
Man, I love my Honda Fit. The front seat folds down flush with the back seat, creating a completely comfortable and functional bed. Mix in a little down comforter action, soft pillows, and high thread-count sheets and you got yourself a luxury sleeping scene, folks!

I actually spent a few hours in LA yesterday afternoon, and it was everything I'd imagined and more...grotesquely opulent, decadent, seedy, plastic, boob-jobby, desperate-and-down-at-the-heely, traficky conglomeration of towns with no cohesive identity. The most notable trait in the more upscale neighborhoods  was that everyone was checking everyone else out, seeing and being seen.


I went to Beverly Hills and drove down Rodeo Drive, into Hollywood and up the Sunset Strip, down to Melrose, had a hot dog at Pink's (I had to do something famous-ish) where I spotted what may or may not have been some superhipster rock stars emerging from a BMW, through Brentwood, Venice and then got the hell out of there.
Glad I went, Glad I left.

Last night I drove up Highway 1 until it got dark, pulled into El Capitan state beach and slept in the Fit-bed until morning. I've been waking up really early in California time, so I was up and on the road before the booth people even got back to work...

One more thing before I leave you:

My new best friend...
Christmas is coming, y'all!