Hello Friends,
As promised, here are some disgusting food pictures for your viewing pleasure. I wanted to take one of this splendid array of huge, grey and slimy unidentified organs, but the lady with the very large butcher's knife didn't look all that approachable. Anyway, this should do for now until the next disgusting photo op presents itself...
As you may notice, I lack the necessary blog manipulation skills to make all my pictures behave in an upright manner. So for now, just tilt your head leeward and everything will be just dandy! 
Last night I had a dream that I was browsing at REI and I made an impulse buy. Unfortunately, the item in question was a cat. What the hell was I gonna do with a cat - squash it into my backback and feed it chicken heads
? It was a no-return policy, too. The lesson here is: don't impulsively buy any felines at REI unless you really mean it!!!
? It was a no-return policy, too. The lesson here is: don't impulsively buy any felines at REI unless you really mean it!!!The other day, I finally remembered to wash the sock in which my PStyle resides when not in use. It was a little disgusting (but not in a fried chicken head kind of way), but now it smells like flowers-clad serafim...
Have I told you lately how much I love my PStyle? Life-changing, existence-affirming, pee-off-a-cliff wonderful! It's become such a part of my daily life that I've ceased my once-meticulous photographic documentation of my PStyle usage.
Seriously, I'd be so sad if anything happened to it...I've peed in alleyways, bus toilets, urinals, public squats, on the side of the road, in the sand, on the rocks; you name it, I've peed on it! I now totally get why you guys just whip it out and do your business whenever the urge arises!
Ladies: hesitate not!
Order a PStyle today!
And I'm not just whistling Dixie!!***
ps - I'm kind of getting tired of looking down at a pink pee canoe all the time, so if you've been asking yourself: "hmm, what fabulous expression of love might I bestow upon Jingles, here's the answer, friends:
PStyle!
PStyle!
PStyle!
Green, purple, orange (just no blue, please. blue is a stupid color and I refuse to engage in it)
Give one to yourself! Your friends! Your mom and your granny!
Really, y'all - it's that good!
(***this message has been broughty to you by the PStyle Corporate Conglomeration of America. Any similarity to actual peers past or present is purely coincidental. No animals were eaten in the making of this testimonial. All Hail the PStyle!!!)
As a side note, I may have inadvertently developed a non-traditional positioning technique in squat toilet usage. In order to protect the squeamish, I won't go into details here (discretion is the better part of squalor), BUT - if you're willing and able to elucidate on your understanding or personal experience in such matters, let's talk.
I'm off to find some eyeball-free food now...
xoxoxo
jingles
OMG! That food should really have a decent burial, I think.
ReplyDeleteHey...REI has a really good return policy by the way. You can take that cat back any time, no matter how much wear it has, no matter how much time has passed. Just remember that the next time you go dreamin' of shopping for cats.
P Style. Okay...I gotta get one!
I love you all the way over there Ms. Queen Marie! Big, Long Hugs from me!!!
You could leave the cat with on eof those street vendors... I'm sure they would take good care of it! On a stick...
ReplyDeleteWe do need to talk squatters some time. I need some pointers. Ever tried it in a hakama?
ReplyDeleteMarini,
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and entertaining writing. Thank-you for the share.
You are hilarious, as usual.
Hilarity becomes you.
Happy Turkey day. Ludicrous it is over here.
I bought half a cherry pie and am sleeping on the house sitting couch.
love, natalie